January has been an interesting month. I've had moments of real happiness - when I went away to London and Sheffield, when I've been to the cinema or out for tea, sat in the staff room at work having a laugh with my colleagues... I've had a lot of contentment and have felt really calm and relaxed when I've been blogging or planning my lessons etc. But (and I know you can't start a sentence with but, but i just did) I've also had low moments. I've struggled with long distance, I've struggled with my weight, with working so much, with fitting everything in. This month I've come to realise what I need when I'm having those low moments, and what I really don't need, and it's not what I expected.
Here are my 5 Do's (VS Don't's) of self help.
1. Have a shower, not a bath.
At the start of the month I was pampering myself with thirty minute baths filled with bubbles or bath bombs, and if I was in a good mood, that was fine! However, when I tried to raise my spirits with a long bath, it always did the opposite. I realised that laying in the bath really just left me alone with my thoughts, and often my thoughts were negative and weight related, so seeing my naked body stretched out in front of me did not ease my mind! I'm always reluctant to get a shower because we have a mirror directly opposite ours and I hate looking into it, but I realised that a quick ten minute shower woke me up, made me feel clean and fresh, and I realised that I could just turn and face the other way. I think I spent ages romanticising the image of a hot bubble bath and trying to convince myself that it would help me if i was having a down day, but recognising that this really wasn't working for me is what actually helped!
2. Do a fifteen minute dance work out every day, don't go on an hour long walk every day.
I've been striving to feel healthier and happier all month but for some reason I just lacked the motivation to kickstart some gentle exercise and go for a walk. It's cold, it's dark, it's damp... it's just not walking weather. I go through periods in my life where I love walking, but recently, I haven't done and going for a walk has made me feel miserable and lonely. I never thought I'd prefer to stay in and following an exercise video instead, but one day I gave a dance-cardio video a go, and I won't be going back! Doing short bursts of exercise really lifts my mood and makes me feel healthier and happier. I do still go for walks sometimes as a change, and actually I enjoy them a lot more now because of the workouts! It's nice to know that I can go for a long walk now that I have a much more convenient alternative and know I don't have to do it all the time.
3. Indulge in hobbies on the weekend.
I recently took up painting and it has been so good for me. I think it's important not to waste my weekends because they're the only free time I get, and even then, I do still have to do some work! So balancing that with things I enjoy is crucial. Having a hobby makes me feel like a more well-rounded human being, as if there's more to me than just teaching, and I like that. It's the same with my little exercise routines, they've become hobbies and I really like the fact that I am now someone who exercises (almost) daily! Of course, blog writing is another great hobby of mine, and I love just chilling out and writing to you guys on here. Even if nobody read my posts, I know I'd still feel better for getting all my thoughts and opinions out in the open, it's very therapeutic and I highly recommend.
4. Meet with friends once a month.
I love seeing my friends but trips away just take it out of me, so I've learnt not to try and push myself to do too many overnight stays, and instead aim for once a month. I think it's important to sometimes have a weekend off from work, even if it does mean that I have catching up to do through the week, sometimes you have to break your routine to appreciate it all the more. My trip to Sheffield and my trip to London were both lovely, but I maybe wouldn't be so ambitious as to try and fit both into four weeks again! It's all about balance.
5. Tidy house, tidy mind, tidy life - Don't live among mess.
I owe thanks to my mum for this one, while I was away in Sheffield she totally re-arranged my bedroom and gave it a super deep clean for me. It's now so much more spacious than it was before and I absolutely love it! I actually like spending time in my bedroom now so I keep it really neat and tidy! I make my bed on the days when I don't have to rush off to work early, I always clear my floor before bed, I put dirty clothes in the laundry basket, I hang my towels up on hooks... and I feel so much better for it. I think I honestly sleep better at night knowing that my bedroom isn't messy. It might take a lot to get that initial clean done, and I'm super lucky that my mum did that part for me I know, but once your bedroom is tidy, it's not that hard to maintain at all. Do it!
I hope that these five little tips will help you on your journey to finding and maintaining happiness. I'm a big believer in self help and I think that usually (not always, but usually) we escalate our problems by over thinking and indulging in self pity. It's so important to be proactive so that's what I've been trying to do this month, and I think it's working out really well for me! I hope it does for you too.
Catch you on Wednesday for a PGCE related post, until then.
JB x